Welcome to That Weewoo Show: a podcast where Alice, Ellen and Bex watch and discuss every episode of ABC’s TV show, 9-1-1.
In this episode we discuss episode 16 of the sixth season of 9-1-1, titled “Lost and Found”.
The 118 race to rescue two roommates desperately trying to find a needle in a haystack at a landfill, and help a woman whose nightmare dream becomes a painful reality. Athena and Maddie team-up to find a missing boy in a crowded mall.
Content warnings for episode 6.16:
claustrophobia (buried in garbage), teeth falling out, tonsil stones, temporarily missing child at mall, and marriage proposals.
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Episode Transcript
Maddie: [00:00:00] 9-1-1. What’s your emergency?
Ellen: Welcome back to That WeeWoo Show, a podcast where we watch and discuss episodes of the ABC show 9-1-1. I’m Ellen.
Alice: I’m Alice.
Bex: And I’m Bex.
Ellen: Thanks to everyone who’s been listening to our episodes. This season is coming close to the end. We’re in Season 6, and we only have a few episodes to go.
Bex: Two more.
Ellen: Two more after this. Now that we’ve actually posted some episodes again after, um, our little break, we have some commenters to thank. Thanks, thanks Kiera for sending us your thoughts on, uh, Episode 14. Tha- I’m so glad that you completely agreed with us, and I real- I really, actually really hope that you do watch Hercules Returns because it’s, it’s hil- Like, I [00:01:00] remember it as being hilarious. It may not actually be hilarious, so sorry if it isn’t. But, you know, I hope you enjoy it anyway.
All right, it is a spooky Halloween here, but by the time you hear this, it will not be. So I hope you had a spooky Halloween, and welcome to November. This, this month is… November has absolutely crept up on me. I don’t know about you guys.
Alice: God, hopefully by the time this episode actually airs, um, ao3 is back.
Ellen: Oh my God, yeah.
Alice: Let’s manifest that.
Ellen: Yeah. That… What is the state of the world that ao3 is going down for a whole month, potentially? Ugh. Anyway.
Alice: No Nut November is real this year.
Ellen: It’s real. It’s a real thing. Before we start talking about Episode 16, let’s hear what happened last time, Alice, if you would be so kind.
Alice: Yeah. So last week on 9-1-1, Buck started dating a death doula, and Maddie and Chim were told by an accountant to get married for tax purposes. Real [00:02:00] romantic.
Ellen: Is the, the, the death doula lady wasn’t actually in this episode at all, right?
Alice: No. There was no,
Bex: no-
Ellen: Did I just block her out? No, she’s not in it. Okay.
Bex: She’s not in this one at all.
Ellen: So is he dating her?
Bex: Well, he took her for coffee twice, so yes?
Alice: That was just basically-
Bex: Or maybe it’s just-
Alice: … all that happened. Like, just not much happened last week, so I don’t really have much else to say.
Bex: Or maybe the show is just going like, “We’re not actually gonna show you the relationship. We’re just gonna tell you these two are now dating. Deal with it.” Yeah. Much like they did with Bobby and Athena.
Ellen: Surely by this stage they knew that they were moving. Like, did they actually completely finish the series, th- this season thinking that they weren’t coming back?
Alice: I believe so.
Bex: Yes. I believe so.
Ellen: Oh, my God. So they just really gave up at the end. Anyway, we’ve still got a couple of s- episodes to go, so who knows. But anyway.
Bex: I love that you’re already, “They really gave up,” and you haven’t even seen how [00:03:00] they finish the season.
Ellen: I mean, this … It’s just that this episode, like, was so, like, nothing happened in this episode. Yeah. Like-
Bex: Yeah, ’cause it’s like the second part-
Ellen: It’s just one storyline
Bex: … of the bridge.
Ellen: That’s it.
Bex: Like, they started building the bridge with the tax account and stuff, and then they’re building a few extra steps, um, to get to the next episode. So it’s not that they gave, not so much that they gave up, I don’t think. It’s like, “We just, we’re gonna finish the storylines we want to finish. We’re just not gonna do anything else.”
Alice: Yeah.
Bex: So this episode, the 118 race to rescue two roommates desperately trying to find a needle in a haystack at a landfill, which I think would actually have been more interesting than what we actually got, and help a woman whose nightmare dream…
oh, God, that’s right. Tautological. Uh, help a woman whose nightmare dream suddenly becomes a painful reality. Athena and Maddie team up to find a missing boy in a crowded [00:04:00] mall, and Chimney debates if the time is right to propose to Maddie.
The triggers for this episode include claustrophobia, specifically buried in garbage, um, teeth falling out, tonsil stones. Um, if anyone has a very sensitive gag reflex-
Alice: Yeah
Bex: … that’s gonna come into play, ’cause I could not watch that scene without, like-
Ellen: Yeah, I c- I couldn’t watch
Bex: … literally gagging, myself. Um, so beware. Mm. Um, temporarily missing child at mall, and marriage proposals generally.
Ellen: Except we don’t actually get any marriage proposal in this ep, so-
Alice: No.
Bex: No, we … There’s a lot of talk of-
Ellen: There’s just lots of talk about it
Bex: … marriage proposals. Yes.
Ellen: Uh, so we’re starting with a flash-forward. Like, we don’t actually know that this is, like, in the future until-
Bex: No. Th- I do like this beginning, though. This is a fun beginning.
Ellen: It is fun.
Alice: This is the best part of the episode, not gonna lie.[00:05:00]
Bex: Um, so we’re at the tail end of a call. Athena has been called to the Valley Vista landfill, and she’s dealt with whatever emergency, whatever she’s meant to have been responded to, and she’s reassuring the worker at the landfill that she will handle everything. She’s got the statement. She’s got contact details.
She’ll get in touch if she needs to. Um, the owner is ropeable. He’s adamant that who- whatever has happened, Athena has arrested some people. Um, they need to be booked. They need to have th- be thrown in jail. They’re obviously criminals, ’cause those are the only, ’cause those are the only kind of people that come to landfills in the middle of the night, crazies and criminals.
Athena’s like, “Well, they’re not criminals. Um, I can tell you that much.”
Alice: They’re just crazy.
Bex: And so she, she gets back in her car, this deep, deep [00:06:00] sigh, and then turns to look behind her, um, and it’s Hen and Chim in the back of her vehicle
Alice: looking a little bit sheepish.
Ellen: And they’re looking- They’re looking so sheepish. It’s very cute.
Bex: And then we get the title card, and when we come back, we’ve jumped back in time two days. Then we go to find out why exactly they were at a landfill in the middle of the night.
Ellen: Actually, you’re right. This was the best part because it’s like-
Alice: It’s all downhill from here.
Ellen: It, it gives you … No, it kind of gives you the, the anticipation of finding out why these two are digging around in a landfill in the middle of the night.
Bex: Yes.
Ellen: But then the actual reality is just kind of stupid.
Bex: Yes, very stupid. Um, so two days earlier they were not at landfill, they were at Kristoff’s Classic Jewelers, where Chim is agonizing over engagement rings.
Ellen: There’s a lot, a lot of [00:07:00] beautiful rings. Um, I feel like, I don’t know, I’ve never been engagement ring shopping, but this seems like a weird way to be looking at diamond rings.
Like, you can look at like, actual wedding rings in a big sort of tray like that because they’re all kind of similar, I guess. But diamond rings are very different, and looking at so many of them in such a small area, I would be overwhelmed as well. I’d be like, “This is, there’s too many to choose from here.”
Bex: Mm-hmm.
Ellen: And which is basically what happens with Chim. He’s like, “There’s too many. I don’t know which one it, Maddie is gonna like. That’s bad, right? I should know that.” So he’s, he’s freaking out basically. Hen’s trying to tell him that he should relax. They’re all nice. “You don’t have to get a diamond,” and the salesperson’s like, “Hell yes, he’s got to get a diamond. I need my cut of this.”
Alice: Yes. I, I want my commission.
Ellen: Yeah.
Bex: And we, we find out that part of why Chim is freaking out is that he is remembering the last time he went ring shopping, which was [00:08:00] for Tatiana, and how terribly that turned out.
Alice: Yeah, guys, remember Tatiana? Remember fuckboy Chimney?
Ellen: A long time ago.
Bex: That was a long time ago.
Ellen: I don’t remember what happened with Tatiana. Did she, she l- left?
Bex: She pro- he proposed. She went-
Ellen: And she went, “Hell no.”
Bex: … “uh, I like you, but, like, not enough to actually marry you.” Uh, Chim got angry, ended up with a rebar through his head, and then Tatiana went, “I’m not sitting by his bedside waiting for him to wake up,” even though Bobby begged her to.
And then she went and got-
Alice: Yep, that’s about it
Bex: … married and knocked up by someone else.
Alice: Oh, that’s right. They run into her again.
Bex: Mm-hmm. Yes. And she’s pregnant, and Chimney’s like, “How far along are you?” She’s like, “It’s not yours. Trust me.”
Alice: It’s not yours. Go away. [00:09:00]
Ellen: Anyway, yeah, he’s try- he’s basically talking himself out of it, and Hen is, like, trying to talk him into it basically.
“You’re not the same person you were back then. You’re no longer a fuckboy. But with Maddie you already have something special, you know-” And he’s like, ” What if this is something she doesn’t even want?” And Hen’s like, “You haven’t talked about this?” I’m like, you haven’t talked…
like, so everything that happens in this episode could have been avoided if they’d actually-
Bex: This-
Ellen: … spoken to each other
Alice: If they’d just spoken to each other? Yes.
Bex: This entire episode could have been avoided, yes.
Alice: This, this whole episode could have been an email.
Ellen: E- everything that happens.
Bex: I think next episode as well could probably not have existed-
Alice: Be an email?
Bex: … if these two had just walked out of the taxation, like walked away, said goodnight to the tax guy and gone, “So, married. What do you think? I don’t know. What do you think?”
Ellen: “So, what do you think about getting married?” “
Bex: Let’s have another affogato and talk about it.”
Ellen: But no, they have not [00:10:00] spoken about this at all since then. Apparently.
Alice: And I also don’t understand, like, w- they’ve already got a house and a child together. Like, they’re stuck together regardless. So, like, just sign the paperwork. Like, ugh, I don’t know. It’s stupid.
Bex: Yes, but the, there’s the whole it’s not just marriage, it’s like the, the wedding industrial complex suddenly rolls in.
Like, they need the big, there’s this expectation of the whole romance and a wedding and yada, all the trappings.
Ellen: Well, we get it in-
Bex: And everyone wants-
Ellen: … a minute when the, when the, when the team is trying to talk them into a big wedding and everything, and they’re like, oh, I don’t know. It’s, yeah. I, I got, by the end I was just like, “Can you-“
Bex: ugh
Ellen: we didn’t have to have all this rigmarole.
Bex: We didn’t. But with this we’re just- Just- … stretching … talk to each other. We’re just stretching. Um, but what’s really interesting in this scene is that Chimney starts doubting whether he actually wants to do this, and Hen is trying to be supportive. But then Chim starts getting on [00:11:00] board with it and like, “Yes, I’m gonna do it.”
And Hen does a 180 and starts going, “Well, you know, if you, maybe you shouldn’t do this. Like, if you’re really, really unsure.” And he’s like, “No. No, I’m gonna do this.” Like- And almost as though he’s trying to prove Hen wrong, he immediately just w- goes like eeny, meeny, miny, moe and picks a ring
Alice: Literally. It’s very romantic.
Bex: I don’t even-
Alice: Yeah …
Bex: he, like-
Alice: That’s about it …
Bex: ugh. I don’t even like the ring that he picks, and I really don’t think it’s Maddie’s style either. It looks like something-
Ellen: It is very pretty but
Bex: … Doug would have bought her to show off that they were engaged, ’cause it’s so pretentious.
Alice: Mm.
Bex: I feel like Maddie has simpler style, but Chim isn’t thinking. Like, why doesn’t he go through her jewelry box and see what kind of rings she has to see what her style is?
Alice: Just something.
Bex: Or just say, “Hey, let’s get married for tax [00:12:00] reasons. I’ll meet you down at City Hall. Bring your brother, he can be our witness.”
Ellen: Mm.
Bex: Yeah.
Ellen: Or you can actually ask her to pick a ring. That happens quite a lot these days as well.
Bex: Yes. You can pick- Apparently that’s how it used to go. You would propose marriage, and then you would go pick a ring together, and it was presumptuous to assume-
Ellen: Oh. Then that makes a lot more sense …
Bex: that you knew your intended’s jewelry choices.
Alice: Yeah, my sister-in-law’s, like, designed her own ring, like, with my brother’s help, but like, it’s- she’s gotta wear it.
Bex: Yes.
Ellen: Yeah. So by, uh, by the end of like the, the salesperson is like, “Yeah, hey, congratulations,” you know. Um, and Hen is just he, he’s now basically talked Hen out of it. She’s like, oh-
Alice: Oh my god, seriously
Ellen: … now I’m not so sure about this whole thing.
Bex: So he buys the ring and then immediately takes it to the station house to show it off, and everyone does pass the parcel, uh, taking a, a gander-
Alice: Also the-
Bex: at this, [00:13:00] this beautiful ring … the
Alice: ring box has a light in it, and I don’t know-
Ellen: Yeah
Alice: … if that’s a thing now, but it just looks really fucking tacky. Like, is it just me?
Bex: I, I didn’t even notice until Ellen w- pointed it out when she was, um, reacting to the episode. I went, “Oh, I didn’t even notice that.”
Ellen: Well, at first- That’s kind of- … I was like, it was when, like, one of them was holding it and I’m like, “Oh, that’s a nice framing of them to hold it exactly under, like, a really bright light so we can see the diamond shining.”
Alice: Yeah, but no, there’s actually a light in it.
Ellen: And then he passes it to the next person and I’m like, “Oh no, it’s in the box.” But, um, I don’t know, it’s cute. It makes the ring look very pretty and sparkly. But, uh-
Alice: I guess, but I don’t know, it just, it, it looked tacky to me. I don’t know if it’s the, the done thing now for, like, fancy wedding rings or engagement rings, but-
Ellen: I’ve never seen, never seen anything like it
Bex: Or maybe it was just for the set dressing because they couldn’t figure out how to light the ring, so they went, “Okay, we need to light it from behind. Let’s put the light in the box. That way it’s always gonna be lit well.”
Alice: Yeah, I feel like that was more, that’s more expensive-
Ellen: Maybe, yeah
Alice: … than just buying a torch, but sure [00:14:00] Or a flashlight
Bex: It’s probably like a, a Christmas light or something that they’ve tucked into the back or… I’m sure that it w- it worked.
Anyway, so they’re passing around the ring. They’re all going, “It’s gorgeous. It’s an amazing ring. Uh, it’s beautiful. Maddie’s gonna love it,” yada, yada, yada. And then everyone starts immediately going onto the wedding Like, Bobby’s like, “Oh, I can officiate it. We can have it in the backyard. Athena would love that.”
Um, Buck and Hen start dueling it out for who’s gonna be his best man.
Ellen: Mm.
Bex: And Buck and Chim’s like-
Ellen: You can see Chim just shutting down. He’s like, “Oh.” Yes. “No, this is bad.”
Alice: Ravi’s like, “Are you gonna do any Korean wedding customs? When my cousin got married we had two very different, very elaborate ceremonies.”
Bex: And I love that. I love that Ravi’s brought up, “Are you gonna have a Korean wedding?”
Alice: Yeah, me too.
Bex: And I feel like Ravi is probably one of the only people on the team who [00:15:00] would remember that the, it’s not just, um, like an American wedding, it’s also potentially a Korean wedding as well.
Alice: Especially because, um, back to my sister-in-law and my brother, um, my sister-in-law’s Indian, or my future sister-in-law, sister-in-law to be, um, is Indian, and so they’re having a wedding in India and a wedding here.
Ellen: That’s so cool.
Alice: Oh, yeah. I’m so excited to go to India.
Bex: That sounds expensive.
Alice: Oh my God, so expensive.
Ellen: No, it’s gonna be great. It will be ex- It’ll be s- Like, Indian weddings look so lavish. They look beautiful.
Alice: I’m- I’m not- not keen to go to India specifically, I just don’t like leaving my house to, like, at all. So I’m really not keen to fly halfway across the world. Um, it would be, like even if he was like, “Oh my God, we’re getting married in Scotland,” I’d be like, “I don’t want to.”
Yeah. I just don’t like leaving my house.
Bex: Alice, we’re literally getting married in your living room.
Alice: Thank God. Oh, solves all [00:16:00] my problems. Can check on my dogs at lunchtime. Like- What a relief.
Ellen: Yeah, so everyone’s trying to take over. Um, well, they’re trying to suggest their perfect idea of a perfect wedding.
But then they talk, then they go onto the proposal, like, ’cause Chim’s like “I- I still have to pop the question.” So then they’re all suggesting ways that they can, you know, that he can propose. Uh, Buck’s like, “Remember the guy who proposed while skydiving?” And Hen’s like, “You mean the guy who broke both femurs and cracked three ribs?”
That, we didn’t see that one.
Bex: Apparently Chim has got an idea for the proposal though, which is good, ’cause he’s like, “We’re just gonna, I’m gonna put Jee to bed. We’re gonna have dinner. I’m just gonna get down on one knee and ask her.” And I’m like, “That sounds amazing.” And Ravi’s like, “That sounds really basic.”
Alice: Yeah, Ravi’s like- Like,
Bex: no offense
Alice: … “That’s kind of basic.” It’s like, and Chim’s like, “We are, like, 30 or 40 years old.”
Ellen: [00:17:00] We are basic people.
Alice: Like, we do not have time for this
Bex: Um, Buck’s saying like you ha- you, Maddie deserves something special, something she’s gonna re- remember forever. You cannot propose without a plan.
I just, I wanna remind Buck that this is gonna be her second proposal. Like she’s had… Doug, Doug probably did like an over-the-top proposal and a very lavish wedding, and that marriage sucked.
Alice: Yep.
Bex: So she doesn’t need the over-the-top stuff.
Alice: If only there was some way to find out what Maddie wanted.
Bex: I don’t know.
Alice: Hmm.
Bex: There’s a trend on TikTok of, uh, proposals that I love, which is just like two people sitting, having dinner, and one of they- not even looking at each other, and one of them just pushes a ring box over to the other person. And the other person just picks up the ring box, opens it, puts the ring on their finger, and then they just keep eating.
And I’m like, “That’s perfect.” [00:18:00]
Ellen: Yeah.
Bex: Um, but app- I, I think that Ravi would probably really disapprove of that as well. Buck would probably disapprove of that as well, so, um, Chimney has to come up with a plan.
Alice: Lucky Chimney. Yeah. I’m yawning already just thinking about this fucking… Yep.
Bex: Yeah.
Alice: Um, then for some reason he’s in Bobby’s office with Jee.
Bex: I’m gonna assume it’s, like, a few hours later
Ellen: Uh, yeah. Apparently Mrs. Lee was looking after Jee ‘
Alice: Cause there’s normally, like … There’s normally, you know, a scene with Chim, for example, and then a new scene, and then another scene with Chim. So it, like, you know, shows time passing. But clearly they just didn’t-
Bex: Yes
Alice: have anything else to do, so we’re just like, “Oh, no mind. We’re- Jee’s now here,” and Bobby’s like, “Why is Jee here?”
Bex: Jee is now here and-
Alice: So, like, Chim wasn’t even just like, “Oh, just letting you know, like, my kid’s here.” Bobby’s like, “Why the fuck is your kid here?”
Bex: Not only is Jee here, but Jee is [00:19:00] playing with a several thousand dollars worth of diamond ring.
Alice: Oh, yeah. I absolutely-
Ellen: Oh, yeah
Alice: … was convinced that she, she was just gonna swallow it.
Ellen: Yeah, me too. I was … Yeah. I c- I couldn’t watch. I was like, “Oh my God, what’s she gonna do with it? I, I don’t want to know.”
Alice: Let my notes literally say, “Ring boxes have lights in them now,” and then “Jee is absolutely gonna eat that ring.” We were wrong. She did not. But, like, that’s what it looks like.
Bex: Yeah. Just don’t, don’t give expensive shit to toddlers.
Alice: No, it’s a terrible idea.
Ellen: Um, but also, also Maddie is about to arrive to pick her up. Like, you know, this is-
Bex: Yeah …
Ellen: a really bad idea on every level.
Alice: Yeah, even Bobby is just like … ‘Cause Chim even says, like, “Mrs. Lee forgot she had an appointment, so she had to bring her here. Maddie should be on her way to pick her up.” Bobby’s like, “Well, then put the thing away.” And Chim instead continues to play with it and fuck around and, uh, starts asking Bobby about when he proposed to Athena, which, like, is fair, but hide the fucking ring.
Ellen: Yeah, and [00:20:00] then, then, then we get reminded that, um, that when Bobby proposed to Athena she had asked him to move in with her And it’s like, oh, that’s right, they did it a bit backwards.
Bex: Yes. And we also get the reminder that, like, Bobby was still in his, um, like, suicidal names in a book phase. Um-
Alice: Yeah, Athena stops him from wanting to-
Bex: … and Athena turned around and gave him- Yeah.
Ellen: Yeah.
Alice: Which, you know, we have opinions about, but, um…
Ellen: Glad we got past all that.
Bex: Yes. So they, they keep talking. Chim’s like, “I don’t wanna screw it up.” Bobby says, “You’re not gonna screw it up.” Maddie goes, “Screw what up?” And both of them are like, “Oh shit, Maddie.” um-
Ellen: It’s, it’s totally not suspicious at all.
Bex: Thank, thank God none of them panic. Um, Bobby immediately- … like turns Maddie around and pulls her into this massive hug, and she’s like, “What the fuck?”
Alice: Yeah, and she’s like, “Hi?”
Bex: “Hi, Bobby.”
Alice: Like, I, I guess it’s been a [00:21:00] while. Um.
Bex: Um, and then Chim’s frantically shoving the ring box back into his pocket, and then Maddie takes Jee, um, gets in the stroller. They have their talking, yada, yada, yada. Um, Maddie wants to talk.
Alice: Oh my God, sorry, the yada, yada, yada. She’s like- I just finished watching Seinfeld again.
Bex: Oh sorry-
Alice: Mm. Oh, you cracked me up ’cause “I’ve yada, yada, yada’d sex. You’ve what?”
Bex: Um, Maddie wants to talk. She wants to know if Chim, um, can get lunch, but just as she asks that, the universe doesn’t want them to talk because an alarm goes off, and everybody in the station starts running.
Chim, who was sitting behind Bobby’s desk, is still sitting behind Bobby’s desk.
Alice: And Maddie’s
Bex: like, um-
Alice: Oh my God, because Chim also is like, has his hands, like, in his lap and is, like, holding the ring box or s- I don’t know, it just looks like he’s trying to h- hide a boner.
Bex: Oh yeah, it 100%.
Alice: And Maddie’s just [00:22:00] like-
Bex: It’s so suspicious
Alice: “What, what were you doing with our daughter and Bobby?”
Bex: Oh.
Alice: Like, I’m very concerned right now.
Bex: That’s, that’s gone very dark.
Alice: It’s ver- it’s a very fucking weird scene.
Ellen: That did go down a dark path.
Alice: It’s a weird scene.
Bex: So she’s like, so he’s like, “I’m not, I’m gonna let you, like, leave the office before I get up and leave and walk out from behind the desk.” She’s like, “Okay, weirdo.”
Alice: Yeah. Well, both hands are, like, basically in his lap and it’s like, uh, what?
Ellen: Yeah, it is weird.
Bex: I think, it’s, um, it’s because he’s got the ring box in his pocket and, you know, he, she doesn’t want him, she do- he doesn’t want her to see the bulge in his pants ’cause, you know … it’s, it’s inappropriate.
You’re like, “Is that a ring box in your pocket or you’re just happy to see me?” Like, or, “Are you just happy to see me or is that a ring box in your pocket?” Um, whichever way makes the most sense in this situation. So she thinks Chim is cracking up. Um, he [00:23:00] waits for her to leave and then sprints for the engine truck.
Ellen: Yeah.
Bex: Um, where he then proceeds to put the ring box into, I think his med kit
Alice: Yeah, it’s some, like, it’s his bag-
Ellen: It’s a bag
Alice: … of some description. It’s a bag. But it’s, like, his work bag.
Bex: They don’t-
Alice: And even Ravi’s- It’s- … like, “What the fuck are you doing?”
Bex: Like, you really should have left it in a locker. Why didn’t he leave it in Bobby’s office? Like, put it in one of Bobby’s drawers.
Alice: Put it in a drawer, yeah. Like, as if Maddie’s gonna go through Bobby’s drawers. Um-
Bex: And Bobby’s drawers are lockable. Like, his entire office is lockable, so you don’t have to worry about someone on the B shift, like, rifling through his stuff and stealing it.
Alice: And, like, Ev- Bobby’s like, “Oh, it’s fine. Maddie’s not gonna get suspicious, I ran interference.” And Chim’s like, “Yeah, that wasn’t awkward.”
Bex: Um, so they spend the rest of the tr- uh, transit to their emergency, um, spitballing ideas for how Chim can make a really romantic [00:24:00] proposal.
Alice: Okay, this scene is kinda cool because the camera, like, turns to face them all.
Ellen: It, it is, it is cool. It’s- It’s well-made, but, um, and normally we enjoy these, like, bantery moments, but I feel like this one, because Chim was getting more and more, like, anxious as it went on, I didn’t enjoy it as much as we normally do.
Alice: No, I enjoyed the camera work. That was about it.
Ellen: But yes, the camera work was cool. It keeps switching between, like, Bobby in the front and then the others talking about stuff.
Bex: I don’t know. It was also, like, a weird setup.
Alice: It was a weird setup.
Bex: Like, the, the way they’re all sitting, it felt like there were too many of them in the back. I don’t know. Um-
Alice: I think there were too many of them in the back, and as, as normal, the driver was totally left out of the conversation that was happening right fucking next to him.
Ellen: Yeah, we don’t know who that was.
Alice: Um-
Ellen: Yeah. Too busy driving.
Alice: But yeah, Eddie, Eddie recommends a nice romantic hot air balloon, and Buck’s like, “Nope. Nope, never ends well.” Nope. Um, Chim suggests maybe he could charter a boat at the marina and take her [00:25:00] on a sunset cruise, and Bobby’s like, “You’re just pitching potential calls at this point.”
Ellen: Yeah, but Bobby, anything you do could be a potential call. Like, we’ve seen
Alice: pretty much everything. Literally, and they also only mentioned two things. Like, it would’ve been funnier if they were like, “Oh,” like, “what about skydiving?” Or, like, what was the guy-
Ellen: They said that earlier …
Alice: remember the, remember the guy that, um, like, went up and pretended the plane had, like, engine failure or something?
Ellen: Oh, yeah
Bex: Oh, yeah
Ellen: Yeah, and she was freaking out- Yeah … and he’s proposing to her, and then they actually did have a problem.
Alice: Yeah.
Bex: Yeah, because she had a heart condition, and he gave her-
Alice: Yeah.
Bex: … a heart attack up in- That’s right … midair, and he had to do an emergency landing to get her down on the ground so that they could, like, resuscitate her.
Alice: Was that the one where they landed on the golf course?
Bex: Yes. Nice. Potentially.
Alice: Maybe.
Bex: Maybe.
Ellen: Buck says, “What about, what about a flash mob? She’d be into that.” And, and Eddie, like, gives him this, like, “Yeah. [00:26:00] That’s a great idea.”
Bex: He’s-
Alice: She’ll never see it coming
Bex: … such a little shit-stirrer
Alice: … but no. Like, what year was this? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure flash mobs went out of s- style, like, 6 years-
Ellen: Yeah, it’s been a while
Alice: … before this episode, but sure.
Bex: Yeah. No, no flash mobs.
Alice: Like, she’ll never see it coming because flash mobs are so done, but sure.
Ellen: And Chim’s like, “No, she will hate that. What the hell are you talking about?”
Bex: Yes.
Alice: The part with Karen and, um, Hen is cute though, because it’s very, very, very fucking lesbian.
Bex: Yes, um-
Ellen: Oh, because they both were gonna get-
Alice: Yeah, so Eddie asks-
Ellen: … they both were gonna propose at the same time?
Alice: … Eddie asks Hen, like, “What about you and Karen? Who asked who?” And Hen’s like, “Uh, we both did.” So they went on a spur-of-the-moment weekend getaway. Hen had a ring and everything, was, like, ready to propose, and Karen also had a ring and everything and was also planning to propose, so they both just proposed.
That’s so cute. I’ve seen that- Aw … like, seen it so many times with lesbians, where, like, one of them will drop to a knee, and the other one’s like, “You fucking kidding me?” And pulls out, uh, [00:27:00] like- … also pulls out a ring box. It’s like, “Well, obviously yes,” ’cause, like…
Bex: So apparently they’re taking that as the universe saying that it, it was, um, a sign that Karen and Hen should get married. And Eddie’s like, “Well, I also had a sign. Like, it was a little plus sign on a pregnancy s- test.”
Ellen: Oh, so romantic.
Alice: Oh, God. Um, yeah, when Shannon told it, told him the news, he was just like, “Yeah, we should probably get married.”
Bex: And that was it. And then Chim’s like, “So what the fuck are you on with me about having, like, a big proposal then if that’s what, like, she got pregnant and you guys got hitched?”
And then he’s like, “I’m just shitting. I’m just, like, messing around with you, dude. It’s fun watch- it’s fun winding you up and then watching you spiral.”
Alice: It’s fun watching you squirm
Ellen: Fuck you, Eddie
Alice: And j- and then Hen’s like, “Yeah, it doesn’t have to be an over d- over the top production. Don’t overthink it, and don’t listen to Eddie.” it’s like, yeah, well-
Bex: Yeah …
Alice: what would he know?
Ellen: Yeah, [00:28:00] don’t ask him for advice.
Alice: No.
Bex: Not on women anyway.
Ellen: Not on marriage.
Bex: Not on marriage and women. No, just ignore anything Eddie says in that realm. Or-
Alice: Like, he’s pretty decent at child rearing, and that’s about it
Bex: … listen to Eddie and then do the opposite.
Alice: Yeah.
Bex: Sorry?
Alice: He’s pretty good at child re- rearing, and that’s about it. Like, Chris is a pretty good-
Bex: Oh, yeah, listen to him for parenting
Alice: … that’s about it. Yeah.
Bex: Yeah. And firefighting and, like, medical stuff. But yeah. Okay, shall we, um, dive into an emergency?
Alice: Yeah, look, I barely watched Hen-
Bex: I really don’t want to
Ellen: so yeah.
Bex: This one’s gross.
Ellen: It is gross.
Bex: We can probably s- speed through it
Ellen: … pretty disgusting Yeah, so this, th- this lady, uh, is on the phone with her employer. Uh, no, her not employer, her like… Oh yeah, her employer. It’s an article that she, that’s due that she’s supposed to have written, but she’s lost all her earlier drafts and-
Alice: Apparently the [00:29:00] cloud server crashed
Ellen: her computer’s crashed
Alice: Which, sure, okay. Um-
Bex: Yeah, not the computer, the cloud server. I’m like, “How the fuck does a cloud server crash?”
Alice: The cloud server. The entire cloud server crashed.
Ellen: Yeah, well, it, it, it’s a dream anyway, so it doesn’t matter how, what, like it’s- Yes … how realistic it is
Alice: Oh, yeah, true. I forgot this was a dream as well, yeah
Ellen: Everything’s lost, and-
Bex: Yeah, yeah. So, like, long story short, she’s having, like, major anxiety about trying to write these articles when all of a sudden her teeth just start falling out on her laptop.
Alice: Now, did you guys say neither of you have had a tooth falling out dream?
Ellen: I haven’t.
Bex: I’ve had eyelashes, like my eyelashes falling, like dangling off my eyelids, like barely attached.
Alice: Ooh.
Bex: Oh. Like Chris-
Ellen: Oh, that’s horrible
Bex: … like, um, like Christmas garlands. Like, they’re attached to sort of the ends of the eyelid, and then the eyelashes are just sort of drooping into my eyes. But no-
Alice: Ew.
Ellen: Ewww
Alice: … not teeth. Yeah, I reg- like, I regularly have dreams that my teeth are falling out.
Ellen: Really?
Bex: Girl.
Alice: Yeah.
Ellen: And is there, like, an accepted, like, or supposed [00:30:00] reason for like, what does it, what’s it mean?
Bex: Anxiety and stress.
Alice: Yeah, it’s just anxiety and stress. Okay. Stress. Um-
Ellen: Wow …
Alice: but also, like, my teeth are all sorts of messed up as it is, so.
Ellen: I more regularly have dreams about, like, tidal wa- like, tsunamis, like-
Alice: Oh, no
Ellen: … being on the beach and having a big wave coming over. That, I have them pretty often.
Alice: So, so what you’re saying is you regularly have, um-
Ellen: Which, which is also related to anxiety
Alice: you regularly have season three dreams.
Ellen: Yeah, basically.
Alice: Yeah.
Ellen: Um, and it’s not like, having a huge wave like that is not realistic anyway, ’cause it, like, tsunamis don’t do that generally. But, uh, we’ve already been over that. Anyway. Um, no. So this, her teeth are falling out and then all of a sudden she jerks awake and sits up, and her teeth are fine. Yes. And she realizes she’s having a dream.
Bex: But then-
Alice: It’s funny, like, it’s always so funny when, uh, in TV shows when something happens to their teeth and then they wake up and they, like, feel them with their fingers, and it’s like, you know you have a tongue? [00:31:00]
Ellen: Yeah, you can pretty much tell that your teeth aren’t falling out without actually touching them-
Bex: Yes
Alice: Yeah
Ellen: with your hands.
Bex: Yeah. Um,
Ellen: anyway, uh-
Bex: So she wakes up, she starts googling what does teeth falling out dreams mean. Basically means stress and anxiety. Um, and then she starts coughing, um, and gagging and coughs up what looks like a tooth.
Alice: Yep.
Bex: And so she calls 9-1-1.
Alice: Well, no, no, she d- she doesn’t call 9-1-1 because she is losing it, like she thinks she’s losing her teeth. She starts choking on one.
Bex: Yes.
Ellen: Yeah, and she can’t breathe.
Alice: And like can’t breathe properly, yeah.
Bex: Yeah. So she’s choking on her teeth.
Ellen: Um- I, I’m, I’m reasonably sure that when you have them it’s, you know about it before you start, like coughing them out. I don’t know. Is it like-
Alice: No idea
Ellen: I can’t remember what they say about them. Like it, [00:32:00] it’s something, is it related to like, it’s a, it’s an infection, right? Like it’s tonsillitis basically.
Bex: Uh, Chim tells us later on that they are small calcified masses produced by the tonsils. Um, basically lumps of bacteria that form due to accumulated mucus-
Alice: Egh
Bex: … food and debris that gets stuck in the back.
Ellen: Which I thought was the, the cause of tonsillitis as well, but like, egh. Anyway.
Bex: Uh.
Ellen: So disgusting to think that something like this is real. Anyway, I don’t know whether you really have so many of them at the same time that they would cause you to choke, but for the drama she can’t breathe properly. And then we get these clowns who come in, the 118, who don’t, like they, they look at her and they go, “Ugh, that’s not good.”
It’s like you can’t just say that to someone.
Bex: No, no. It’s so- It’s not just-
Alice: it’s awful!
Bex: … they’re not looking at her and going, “Oh, that’s not good.” She apparently has killer halitosis. [00:33:00] So she’s sitting there breathing through her mouth and they are like almost fainting at the scent of her breath.
Alice: Yeah. Which is lovely.
Bex: Uh, tonsillitis is like inflammation of the tonsils itself, which is separate from tonsilliths, which is the stones
Ellen: Okay.
But the inflammation is caused by a bacterial infection, right? I don’t know. I haven’t had tonsillitis in a very long time.
Bex: The, the-
Ellen: Thank God …
Bex: the tonsillitis, like it inflames the tonsils. These stones are like, I… This is gonna sound-
Ellen: They’re inside the skin-
Bex: … really bad, but I feel like it’s like oysters. You know how they get irritated and they create pearls?
Ellen: Yeah, okay.
Bex: I feel like it’s kind of the same thing.
Ellen: Tonsil pearls!
Bex: Like the bacteria gets caught.
Alice: Tonsil-
Bex: Yeah. Tonsils get caught and then it’s like little, the, the body sort of builds calcium around it to do something and then, yeah. That’s what I’m going with, tonsil pearls versus tonsillitis.
Alice: But yeah, it basically says like [00:34:00] make sure you brush your teeth and stay hydrated and you shouldn’t get them.
Bex: Yeah.
Ellen: Okay. Good to know.
Bex: So yeah. So, um-
Alice: Anyone else really wanna check their tonsils now or?
Bex: So they start pulling some… They start pulling tonsil stones out. Um, they realize that this is a much bigger thing that they can do sort of in the field that, um, the patient needs a ENT to remove them surgically. Um, so they load her up in the ambulance. Um-
Ellen: The- first they have to talk her into actually going, ’cause she’s like, “Oh no, I’m going to the dentist tomorrow,” or sometime and, and they’re like, “Ah, no. Your dentist is not gonna be able to do anything. If you don’t get- Yes … these removed surgically you could die.” She’s like, “Oh, okay. I guess. I guess I’ll come then.”
Bex: So they’ve got her in the back of the ambulance with like a suction tube in her throat to, um, suck out all of the mucus and, and blood that’s [00:35:00] accumulating, and Hen is being very professional. She’s getting suction. She’s telling Molly what’s going on.
Chim is apparently supposed to be switching on the suction pump. Um, he’s just sitting there in his own little world, and it’s so cute ’cause she’s like, “Chim, can you turn the pump on?” He just sort of like very slowly sort of looks over, turns on the pump-
Ellen: Aw, he’s just staring
Bex: … and then goes back to in his own little world.
Just like, “Aw.”
Ellen: Oh, Chim.
Bex: So they proceed to have a conversation over the top of their patient and then look insulted and horrified when their patient tries to join in with the conversation.
Alice: I know. They’re back to doing their stories.
Ellen: Yeah, we, we haven’t had one of this… Yeah, we haven’t had one of these in a while.
Bex: ‘Cause Chim starts talking ag- again about Maddie. Like, “What if, what if Maddie says no?” And Hen’s like, “Why would she say no?”
Alice: What if Maddie has tonsil stones?
Bex: And Molly’s like… Molly’s like, “Has she ever been married before?” And Hen’s like- What are you doing? Don’t- [00:36:00] Yeah.
Ellen: She’s like, “Shut up.”
Bex: “Do not interrupt us.”
Ellen: “Did we ask you?”
Bex: But then Chim starts talking directly to Molly, like, “Yeah, she was married before.” Um, Hen gets sick of this, takes the suction out of Molly’s mouth, and snaps an O2 mask on her, like, “Shut up,”
Alice: which again is super fucking rude.
Ellen: Yeah, it is, especially since she looks like she’s doing okay. She’s obviously engaged in the conversation. She can breathe.
Bex: Mm-hmm. Yes. She doesn’t appear to be choking.
Alice: Like, be professional and don’t talk about your shit in front of patients if you don’t want them to join in.
Bex: If you wanna talk over your patients, make sure they’re unconscious.
Alice: Yeah.
Bex: Don’t try and talk over the conscious ones.
Alice: We’re not saying knock them out. We’re just saying …
Bex: I’m not s- I’m not not saying knock them out. If you really desperately need to have a conversation and y- you know, you’ve got some, um, Propofol-
Alice: Just gonna sedate you for a minute … in there. Over these to-
Bex: Just, yeah …
Alice: tonsil stones.
Ellen: Yeah. And what was the name of that guy who, uh-
Bex: Jonah?
Ellen: … [00:37:00] who was doing that? Yeah, Jonah. Yeah. Jonah.
Bex: Just pull a Jonah- Oh … so that you can have a private conversation with your coworker. Um-
Alice: Jesus Christ.
Bex: But with all this backwards and forwards, Chim has gone 180. He’s now wedding is off. He can’t handle Maddie turning him down, so he’s not even gonna try and ask.
Alice: Yep, he’s panicked and given up.
Bex: Like, oh, for fuck’s sake.
Ellen: So this is where we start getting whiplash from, uh, Chim’s, like, backwards and forwards-ing.
Bex: Mm-hmm.
Ellen: Because one minute he’s like, “Yep, yep, I’m gonna do it,” and the next, he’s talked himself out of it again.
Bex: The only thing-
Ellen: So all this could’ve been avoided, Chim, if only there was a way for you to know.
Bex: If only there was a way. The one thing I will say is at least this is in character for Chim. It’s not like we’re going through all this drama and sitting here going like, “Chim would never do this.” Chim would very fucking well do this.
Alice: Yeah.
Ellen: Yeah.
Bex: I just wish we didn’t have to witness it.
Ellen: Oh, anyway, they get, they manage to… Well, we [00:38:00] don’t find out what happens after that. Like, tonsil lady is fine, I guess. Um, but they get back to the station house, and, uh, Hen is on her own in the loft area. And apparently Buck has been trying to talk Chim down, or up.
Bex: I have a feeling Hen-
Ellen: Whatever
Bex: … sent Buck-
Ellen: However it works
Bex: … to talk to Chim, and then he’s reporting back
Ellen: Yeah.
Get that impression. Because she says, “So was I wrong?” He’s spiraling, isn’t he? Um, Buck’s like, “Uh, yeah.” So the, at this point, Hen is like, “I, I think maybe we should just, you know, let things take their course, and if marriage is not for them, then that’s okay.” And Buck’s like, “What are you talking about? We, we need to get them to do this. It’s the best thing.” So they’re having a big argument about it.
Bex: Yes, and then they, Buck realizes that Hen is really not pro Chim and Maddie getting married [00:39:00] because she’s still pissed at Maddie leaving Chim.
Alice: Yeah.
Ellen: I mean, she’s got a great point here because she says something like, all of their relationship so far has just been one trauma after another basically, and maybe they need to heal from that before they get married.
And Buck’s like, “What do you think the last year has been for them?” They’ve been living together and with Jee for a whole year now. And Hen’s like, “Well, why is Chim still freaking out?” And it’s like, that’s just the way Chim is.
Bex: It really is just the way Chim is.
Ellen: Um, so I mean, they come to at this point kind of the right conclusion in that maybe everyone just needs to butt out and let them get on with it.
Bex: Yeah.
Ellen: But, I mean, Hen doesn’t wanna see him get hurt, so I guess, I don’t know. Maybe everyone just needs to encourage them to actually speak to each other.
Bex: Yes, just talk. Not proposals, not flash mobs, just talk. I know that’s [00:40:00] not romantic and it’s not good television, but for fuck sake-
Alice: But you have a child and a house, just fucking talk
Ellen: just talk. Yeah.
Bex: Yes.
Ellen: But that wouldn’t be quite so dramatic.
Bex: All right, speaking of children.
Ellen: Oh God, I’ve really felt this mom. Um, she’s got three kids of very different ages at the shopping center, and she looks extremely hassled. And even me taking my two kids to a shopping center, I’m like, “Can we please get out of here and go home?” but three, just extra, extra drama.
Bex: Um, so we’ve got mom, we’ve got three kids. She’s frazzled. The youngest, which is the only boy, pipes up and says that he’s hungry. So they immediately, she’s like drops everything. Like one of her daughters is saying, “I need shoes.” And the kids, the little one’s like, “Oh, I’m hungry.”
And she’s like, “Fine, we’re gonna go get food.” And like the oldest one’s going, “But what about my shoes?” [00:41:00] Um, so they go and get pretzels Mum plants the kids at a table. The two oldest, um, immediately just start watching videos on their phone. She goes to get the pretzels. Um, when she comes back, the youngest is not at the table, and the other two-
Ellen: Mm-hmm
Bex: didn’t realize that he was gone. So immediate panic stations, ’cause he’s not at the table, he’s not in any, he’s not in their immediate eyesight. So they start calling for him, like literally sort of standing in the same spot and calling for him, and when that doesn’t work she calls 9-1-1.
Alice: Yep. Which, like, is fair, especially since we find out that the mall doesn’t have any PA system, but like-
Bex: But the mall should still have, like, security
Alice: It should have something
Bex: Like there would be-
Alice: Yeah
Bex: There should be a mall office that she can go to at first instance.
Ellen: Yeah, or even, like, just speak to one of the people who own the sh- like the stores around there and they can call somebody. Like it’s-
Bex: Or yeah, I, I don’t know. Like I know it’s, the show is [00:42:00] 9-1-1, so we actually need people to call 9-1-1 so that the stories make sense. It just, it, it feels like a little bit of a reach to immediately go for 9-1-1, and then it feels like it’s a complete overreaction by the 9- by dispatch.
Ellen: Yeah, especially when we find out where the kid actually is. He’s like-
Bex: Yes
Ellen: … right there. But anyway, um, they’re all having a panic and, sorry, Maddie and Josh basically, Josh mobilizes the whole of the, um, dispatch center to say, like, “If anyone calls 9-1-1 saying they have a kid, this is where they are,” blah, blah, blah.
And so Maddie sends like every, every police officer in the whole city to this shopping center. Yeah Um, Athena is, like, walking in with this, like, army behind her.
Bex: To be fair-
Ellen: I’m like, “How many fucking cops did they send?”
Bex: At that, at that point they [00:43:00] thought it was an actual abduction because the, the mother, Candace, remembers that she’s getting a divorce and the custody is being disputed. And so the first person she thinks of that could have taken her kid is her soon-to-be ex-husband. So that’s-
Ellen: Yeah, so-
Bex: At that point I feel like-
Ellen: … her absolute freakout is a little bit justified I guess.
Bex: So possibly the, like, an act- it’s not so much anymore just a missing kid in the mall, it’s a potential abduction. The thing with this mum is she is so wrapped up in her little boy that she completely forgets about her daughters. Like, why has her husband come in and just taken the little boy and not the girls?
Alice: But also she’s just sending the other two off, like, in random shops. Like, what if someone steals them too?
Bex: She doesn’t care.
Ellen: They’re a bit older, so-
Alice: Or if they get lost. Do they both have phones, like?
Bex: Yes, they’ve got phones ’cause they were watching-
Alice: Oh, they both do?
Bex: … YouTube videos.
Alice: I, I don’t know. I thought that was just the older ones.
Bex: Yeah, I don’t know. I just, I really, [00:44:00] the, the, she pissed me off when her, one of her daughters is going like, “Did you forget that you were gonna buy me shoes?”
And that immediately got dismissed when her little baby boy, um, wanted pretzels.
Alice: Yeah, look- What a food … this, honestly this whole scene just, like, read as copaganda. Like, “Oh, it’s been a while since we showed how great the cops are so let’s get them to find a missing child in a mall.” And I was like, “I don’t care.”
This happens a lot and it’s fucking scary, but it’s just, it’s weird that there are so many police.
Bex: I don’t know. The last time I watched-
Ellen: Yeah. Oh, yeah
Bex: … this on television it was Criminal Minds and the kid was, like, it was bad when they found the kid. So –
Alice: Yeah, but like-
Bex: Like, this is not
Alice: when-
I’ve been-
Bex: … that stuff doesn’t happen
Alice: I’ve been listening to a lot of Casefile and usually it’s just like, “Oh, hey, like, my kid’s missing,” and they’re like, “Oh, that sucks.” And they’re like, “Can, can you, can you find it?” And it’s just like, “Yeah, like, we’ll get around to it. We’re just real busy, you know?” They’re like, [00:45:00] “Okay.”
Bex: Especially when he’s been missing for, like, four minutes. Like-
Alice: Two seconds …
Bex: like I said, they’re treating this as, as a potential abduction. Um, maybe it was a slow day. I don’t know. Maybe my kids are-
Alice: ‘Cause look, they show, like, a lot of cops coming too. Like, it’s not just like, “Oh yeah, we’ll send a patrol car.” Like, there’s, like, lights and sirens and everything happening and it’s like pretty crazy.
Bex: I could be completely blase ’cause my kids are older. I don’t have to worry about this anymore. They’re older and they’ve got phones. If they go wandering, I can easily find them, even if I’m just tracking their location on their phone.
Alice: We left my brother in a shop once. Mom was, um- Mom had an extra kid with her. Like, we were, we had, like… It was, like, a group of us shopping, and we forgot that, like, Mom forgot that one of the kids had brought a friend along, so, like, we had one extra. So Mom sort of, like, did a-
Bex: Oh, no
Alice: … vague head count and was just like, “Oh yeah, like, there’s six of them,” and, like, went to the next shop, and then was just like, “Wait a minute.
We’re supposed to have seven,” and went to the, like-
Ellen: Oh,
Alice: no.
… went back, and my poor [00:46:00] brother’s just, like, sitting there just like, “Um-
Bex: “Hi”
Alice: … this is fine, I guess.”
Ellen: Yes, I have misplaced a, a kid in this manner before though, um-
Alice: I think everyone, yeah, it’s awful
Ellen: … in the shopping center. Yeah, I just looked a- like full disclosure, I probably was looking at my phone at the time. And he was playing in the, on the little playground in the shopping center, and turn- like looked up and he was gone, and he’d gone down an escalator.
Alice: Oh. Oh my God.
Ellen: And I look, I looked around, I couldn’t see him anywhere, and then all of a sudden this lady was bringing him back up the escalator and I’m like-
Alice: Oh
Ellen: oh my God. But yes, it was very terrifying. But no, I didn’t call 9-1-1. I mean, I don’t call 9-1-1 anyway. I didn’t call triple zero. I, um, and I didn’t get the entire shopping center to shout his name. Um
Bex: Yeah. So that’s how they end up finding the kid. They’ve-
Ellen: He, he was only two at the time …
Bex: they’ve got, um, like half of the LAPD-
Alice: Oh, yeah. So they, hang on, they find the [00:47:00] husband as well, and he’s at work and he’s been all morning
Bex: Yeah, he’s at work, so he’s not, he hasn’t abducted like one children. Maybe the older two were from like first marriage and like only the kids-
Alice: Yeah, maybe, maybe he just doesn’t like them.
Bex: Maybe.
Alice: He just wanted the- the little ones easier to brainwash?
Bex: Like he didn’t, he didn’t want his step kids, he wanted his biological kid, so that’s… Anyway, he didn’t, ’cause he was at work and he’s gonna be so pissed at the next meeting for custody when he thinks that- Yeah … his ex-wife accused him of abducting his child. Yeah. Um-
Ellen: Yeah, when she can’t even keep an eye on him when they’re in the shop-
Bex: Oh, yeah. She-
Ellen: … it’s not gonna go well for her.
Bex: Yes. No, it’s not gonna go well for her. Um, like Alice said, they determine that somehow, I don’t know, that the, uh, the mall does not have a PA system. It has like music, uh, but you can’t like-
Ellen: Yeah, Maddie finds that out
Bex: … speak over
Ellen: I don’t know how she knows.
Bex: I don’t know. She Googled it probably
Alice: Maybe she calls the mall’s [00:48:00] customer service and they’re like, “We… Why would we have a PA?”
Bex: Um, so they decide, and I don’t know how they know. Um, one of my kids asked me the other day, like he was watching a musical TV show where one person started singing and then everybody else started singing, and sh- and he said, “How does everyone know, like to start singing and what the words of the song are?”
Alice: Magic, okay.
Bex: And I’m like, well, in this instance the-
Ellen: You’re not supposed to ask questions like that for musicals.
Bex: The person like was an angel, so like she’s just telepathically told everybody in vicinity what the tune is and what the, the words are, so that’s fine. In this instance, Athena goes, um- she says like, “Okay, we’re gonna need your help.”
Alice: Literally just everyone-
Bex: But she doesn’t actually tell them
Alice: … we need your help and then, “Jayden, Jayden, J-“, and like everyone just sort of chants Ja- and like what the fuck? How would-
Bex: Immediately everyone picks up on what they’re supposed to do. She doesn’t actually explain.
Alice: It’s so fucking weird. Yeah.
Ellen: It is. It’s really weird.
Bex: I think it was-
Alice: It is so weird
Bex: … vaguely there was like some hand gestures where she’s like, “Come on, everyone, join [00:49:00] in. You know the words.” Um- But for some reason, the couple of minutes where both of his sisters and his mother have been frantically screaming his name was not enough for Jayden to emerge from his hiding spot, but having like everyone around him chanting his name, he’s like, “Oh, maybe I should come out from where I’ve stolen a bag of candy-
Alice: Yeah, this isn’t terrifying. Yeah
Bex: … and hidden it under, hidden under like a table or a counter or something to eat the spoils of my theft.
Ellen: Yeah, and in full, in view. Like he, he comes out and he can see his mom, like yelling for him.
Bex: The, his sisters went into the candy store to look for him. Like they’ve already c- they supposedly cleared that store.
Alice: Yeah.
Ellen: Yeah, but he was hiding behind things.
Bex: Which… So you don’t go look behind things? What did they do? Just walk in the front door, “Hey, Jayden?”
Alice: They had a boy look.
Bex: “Oh, he’s not in here.” And then they walk back out again?
Alice: Yeah, they literally had a boy look.
Bex: Jesus Christ.
Alice: And were like, dunno.[00:50:00]
Ellen: Anyway, he’s fine. Everyone’s happy. Um-
Bex: He was lost-
Ellen: I don’t know
Bex: … but now he’s found.
Ellen: He went to get dessert. And like freaked out the entire shopping center for a little bit.
Alice: Yep, pretty much.
Bex: Yeah, that kid’s gonna be on a leash for like the next two years.
Ellen: All right, so- We’re going straight into the next emergency.
Bex: We are.
Ellen: Um, we’re, we’re finally at the landfill, but it’s daytime. Um, just the beginning of the landfill I mean, it’s-
Bex: Saga?
Ellen: Yeah, it’s not even close to th- what happens at the end. But anyway, these two guys are … They’re at the landfill because one of the guys has lost … I, I don’t know how to-
Bex: No, no
Ellen: … he left-
Bex: Not lost
Ellen: A hard drive. It’s like an actual tower, like an actual PC.
Bex: Yeah. So apparently, um, Nate threw out Bruce’s hard drive tower, [00:51:00] which I don’t understand why he thought it was trash because towers are fricking huge.
Alice: Yeah, and like-
Ellen: Yeah, it’s a-
Alice: So Nate’s like-
Ellen: … a full computer
Alice: … “If it was so valuable, you shouldn’t have left it laying around.” And Bruce is like, “You, I left it, it was on the floor next to my desk. It’s a hard drive tower.”
Bex: ‘Cause it’s huge.
Alice: That’s where it lives. Yeah.
Bex: So the other thing is that, I’m just gonna throw it out here, and I don’t know why it bugged me, ’cause like none of this storyline makes sense, is how did it get to the landfill? Because if he put it out with like rubbish collection and the, like the rubbish collection picked it up, aren’t those compactors? Yeah. Shouldn’t the tower have been like squished?
Alice: Yeah.
Ellen: Yeah, and a lot of the stuff-
Bex: So did Nate actually-
Ellen: … in this pile of trash ha- is not squished. It’s like, it looks like the hard, um, waste at the dump, you know? Like-
Bex: Yeah. So did Nate like load the tower up into his car, [00:52:00] drive to the landfill, yeet it onto one of the piles?
Alice: I don’t fucking know.
Ellen: Yeah.
Bex: And then go back to where … Like, ’cause that’s the only way-
Ellen: That’s what it feels like
Bex: … it could still be intact. But that seems very intentional.
Ellen: The reason that he doesn’t want to lose this tower-
Bex: Mm-hmm
Ellen: … is because it has, it has the key for his, his crypto account in it.
Like the guy’s like, the other guy is like, “You know, how much, how … I’m not gonna start digging in this trash until you tell me how much money is there.” And the other guy’s like, “Oh, it’s probably worth, well, with the crash earlier, it’s, uh, probably about 4 million.” And Nate’s like, “Four million dollars?” So yeah, um, they argue about how they’re gonna split the money because the guy who threw it out doesn’t wanna help find it unless he gets a cut.
Bex: Dude, you are the… no, you don’t get to negotiate. You are the [00:53:00] reason that it’s in the landfill.
Alice: Literally.
Bex: You don’t get to-
Ellen: Yeah
Bex: … you don’t get paid to help-
Ellen: I mean-
Bex: … fix your mistake
Ellen: … this would be an ex-friend.
Bex: You fix your mistake
Alice: Yeah.
Bex: Oh, yeah
Alice: Absolutely.
Bex: Uh, so Nate and Bruce start digging. They’re like, they’ve got literal shovels. Um, Nate has some kind of tracker that he’s used to track where in the landfill the tower is, so they start digging. Bruce can see the tower buried in the middle of one pile. Um, so he starts trying to
Ellen: pull-
Can, I don’t understand how he can track it. Actually, no, I don’t care. Just keep going.
Bex: No. Don’t think about it.
Ellen: All right.
Bex: Don’t think about it. Um, he starts trying to pull the, um, the tower out, and he destabilizes the entire pile that he was standing on because as the worker-
Ellen: Not before the, the, this angry guy- Yeah … comes along to yell at them about being there.
Bex: And tell them that it’s, it’s not safe to be up on there. Um, and this is why, because they destabilized the tower and they both get… It’s caused like a landslide, [00:54:00] um, and they both get buried in the pile. And so then-
Ellen: Mm-hmm
Bex: … he has to call 9-1-1 because two morons just got buried in the Vista Valley Landfill. So the 118 get sent. So then we have, um, Eddie and Ravi get harnessed up, get sent up to the top of the pile to, um, to try and find them, and everyone else is searching the perimeter.
Ellen: Yeah, even this landfill site is a weird kind of configuration as well, ’cause it’s just like, it’s a big wide area, but there’s just a big pile of trash in the middle of it. It’s like I don’t… I’ve never seen a landfill- That’s- … site that looked, that looks like this …
Bex: that’s what my local-
Ellen: But maybe it doesn’t matter
Bex: landfill looks like.
Ellen: Oh, does it? Okay.
Bex: You just, you literally, it’s just this barren wasteland that you drive your truck up. You back, you back up, you throw everything from your car onto this pile, and then occasionally they’ll have, like, excavators and, um, like, bulldozers [00:55:00] and they’ll just sort of push everything a little bit closer together to make more room.
Ellen: Yeah.
Bex: It’s awful. I hate it. I will willingly drive to… I will drive, like, 20 minutes to a different s- council’s landfill because it’s all nicely organized and concreted and looks pretty.
Ellen: Yeah, okay. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that’s how the, it used to be when I was a kid, like when we’d go to the dump, it would just be a big pile of stuff on the ground and you’d just dump it-
Bex: yeah
Ellen: and leave.
Bex: Well, they still exist now.
Ellen: But now it’s like you have to go to a certain, like all the hard waste has to go over there, and then the electronic stuff goes over here, and then-
Bex: Yeah, yeah, yeah. My favorite, my favorite, um, waste management center is like that. Like, you drive in and you stop here and you drop off your e-waste, then you stop over here and you drop off your cardboard, then you stop over here, and then once you’ve got rid of- Mm everything, there is a pit that you can put everything into that immediately gets compacted.
Alice: Is Noah Wiley in there?
Bex: But,
Ellen: It’s not The Pitt. Not- it’s a pit.
Alice: Oh, my bad. Sorry.
Bex: One T.
Alice: Yeah.
Bex: Pit with one T, not pit with [00:56:00] two Ts.
Alice: It’s, it’s easy to c- easy to get confused.
Bex: Yes.
Alice: You, you get it?
Bex: Yeah. Um, but yeah, my local is just, like, a big pile of shit in the middle of a, a, an open area that occasionally catches fire and they have to shut it down when it’s too windy because it just, um, like, the wind just whips up all of the rubbish and it’s a, it’s a hazard. Um-
Alice: Jesus.
Ellen: Wow.
Bex: Yes. So Chim finds Bruce at the bottom of the pile. He has somehow managed to find himself inside a piano. I don’t know how.
Ellen: Yeah. The, I didn’t see, like when the thing was collapsing, I didn’t see a piano coming at him or anything, but he’s-
Bex: Nope.
Alice: No, but sure
Ellen: … he’s all cut up by the strings.
Bex: Yes.
Ellen: Like he’s got one wrapped around his arm. Like, I’m like how… No, I don’t, I don’t get it.
Bex: I, I feel like if he, if the piano had like come down on top of him, he should’ve been more like cheese grater-ish.
Ellen: Yeah.
Bex: But no, it’s just-
Ellen: And just sliced like… Yeah, anyway.
Bex: Like it’s one arm and maybe his [00:57:00] abdomen’s sliced. Uh, okay, fine. Um, so Chim and Hen are working on him. Meanwhile, Ravi has got to the top of the, um, pile and he hasn’t found Nate, but he has found fire.
Ellen: Yeah
Bex: So Bobby says to Smith, who actually gets some lines, um, to get the truck and start loading the hoses with wet water. And I’ve gone, “I’m sorry, what?”
Ellen: What? Wet what?
Bex: Wet water?
Ellen: Yeah, and then they actually-
Bex: I just assumed that-
Ellen: … do show, like, him po- like someone pouring this wetter water stuff into the water tank. I don’t know
Bex: I just assumed that, like, at this stage Bobby had just misspoken, and that nobody had picked it up. Um, it’s not until later when they, he says it again.
He tells Eddie, um, that they’ll give him some hoses with, like, the wetter water in it, and we can see Smith pouring [00:58:00] the agent into the tank, and I’ve gone, “Oh.”
Ellen: Yeah
Bex: Okay, no, this is actually a thing.
Ellen: Oh, wet water is a pr- … a real thing. Okay.
Bex: It’s a real thing. It’s not, it sounds stupid, but it’s a real thing. Um-
Ellen: Mm-hmm.
Alice: Which, sure.
Bex: So- Okay. No, it is. So the idea is that-
Alice: No, I think, but, like, don’t, like why would you explain it on the show? That explains everything else. Like, it’s fine.
Bex: I don’t think they explain a lot of the firefighting shit. They just expect- No … you to just watch. I really do th- it’s like from
Alice: a branding perspective- We’ll, we’ll go into great detail about the, um, the tonsil stones, but just gotta guess the wetter water, which I’m mu- way more excited about.
Bex: They do need to come up with a better name for it though than wet water. And no, I th- like, the argument that water isn’t wet, water makes other things wet, but gen- the general understanding of water is that it’s wet, so how can water be more wet? Anyway.
Ellen: [00:59:00] Yeah.
Bex: Um, in case anyone is listening-
Ellen: It can technically
Bex: …who has never heard of wet water before, it’s chemicals added to break the surface tension of the water molecules, which makes it easier to be absorbed in whatever they’re spraying it on. So it helps to extinguish fires faster without using, like, more, um, more dangerous chemicals like foam. Um, and it’s very important that they get the water soaking through quickly through this massive pile because, um, where this, where the fire is is also Nate, and he’s, like, right on top of the fire, so they need to get him out. Um-
Ellen: Yeah, I don’t understand how, like, they’re standing on top of something.
Bex: Mm-hmm.
Ellen: And, like, they’re on top of the mountain and Nate’s- Mm-hmm … below them, but-
Bex: Mm-hmm …
Ellen: he’s on top of the fire. Like, I-
Bex: Think of it like a volcano. They’re on the edge of the volcano and he’s, like, [01:00:00] in the cauldron above the magma.
Ellen: Yeah. But what are they on that’s not, like-
Bex: The side of the volcano
Ellen: … destabilizing the whole mountain?
Bex: Sh, sh, sh, sh, just no. Just- Just no.
Ellen: I couldn’t visualize how this was working. But anyway, it doesn’t matter because they-
Bex: It doesn’t matter
Ellen: … get down in the hole and pull Nate out just in time for him not to be burnt to a crisp by the fire.
Bex: Yes Yes, they send Ravi and Eddie down off the aerial ladder. Thankfully it’s not raining, there’s no lightning.
Ellen: Phew.
Bex: Uh, so they get him out. They, Bobby has great fun spraying the wet water on everything. They have to fight Bruce to get him in the ambulance because once they get him out of the piano he wants to go back in for, back for his tower.
Um, which Chim a- admires his persistence and decides that that’s a sign that he too also needs to be [01:01:00] persistent and he needs to ask Maddie to marry him.
Alice: Yep, so he’s flip-flopped again.
Ellen: Okay, buddy.
Alice: And I just don’t give a fuck.
Ellen: They ne- they don’t say like the, the, um, what’s his name, Bruce?
Alice: Bruce.
Ellen: Did we say his name? Um he doesn’t say that there is $4 million on his tower, and I feel like if he’d said that then they might have made more of an effort to find it. Because, like, they know where they pulled him out of, so it must be around there somewhere. But, hmm, it’s not their job. They just have to save his life. That’s it.
Alice: I mean, they got really into the treasure hunt a couple years ago.
Ellen: They did, and it wouldn’t take long to, like, just go over there and poke around a bit. But anyway, doesn’t matter.
Alice: Like, well, excuse me- It doesn’t matter … dumper. No, we are firefighters. This is important firefighting business after the fire.
Ellen: Yeah. You know, we have to retrieve the evidence for the police- [01:02:00]
Bex: Mm-hmm
Ellen: … who aren’t there, uh, yet.
Bex: Yet. Um, so they get Bruce to hospital to continue to extract him from, or extract the piano wires from him, since they’ve extracted the piano. Nate’s probably going as well. They end up, um, returning to the station house, and they’re all complaining that they can still smell the dump. Like, the, the scent of burning rubbish has fused itself into their nasal passages.
Alice: Yeah. Um- Ravi helpfully lets us know it’s called phantosmia, which is where the brain-
Bex: I don’t think it is, though.
Alice: What?
Bex: I don’t think it is, though. I think… ‘Cause he’s saying that phantosmia is where the brain recreates smells even when they’re not present. I think this is more that the particles of the dump are still lodged in the nasal hairs.
Alice: I just assumed that they-
Bex: So they’re gonna need to, like-
Alice: … all smelt like the dump because they were all covered in the smoke.
Bex: Yeah.
Alice: Um,
Ellen: yeah. They were climbing around in the rubbish, so.
Alice: But in saying [01:03:00] that, um, whenever I go to the vet, like, for like two days afterwards, I can always just smell the vet.
Bex: Yeah, ’cause it’s in your nose.
Alice: But it’s like, what, I’m, it’s, it’s, the, the smell can’t just stay in my nose for two days.
Bex: It can if you’re not cleaning your nose out. Like, smells are just… And I hate that I learnt this, that I will forever hate the, the ice storm for teaching me this. Smells are just teeny-tiny particles of whatever it is that you’re smelling. So-
Alice: Yeah, so how is tu- like, what does, what the fuck is in the vet that’s making it smell?
Bex: All of the antiseptic-
Ellen: It’s like hanging around in your nose
Bex: … and the cleaning products and everything that’s just floating in the air, the tiny little particles of all of that stuff. Then when you breathe in, it gets trapped in your nostrils.
Alice: Well, at least my nose is nice and clean after going to the vet, I guess.
Bex: And then you have to like, you know, blow your nose and, and flush your nose to get everything out in order to stop smelling it. It’s like eventually it’ll go away ’cause your nose is self-cleaning.
Ellen: It’s, it’s been quite a, [01:04:00] like, in general, a disgusting episode, hasn’t it?
Alice: Oh, yeah.
Bex: It really has. Um-
Ellen: We’ve learned some disgusting things. Uh-
Bex: Speaking of disgusting, these guys, having, like, been crawling around in rubbish, the best that they do is Eddie sprays deodorant. None of them change their uniform
Ellen: Yeah, they don’t go and have a shower
Bex: None of them take showers, and then I think that’s even worse because Eddie’s now just layering whatever his deodorant scent is on top of rubbish.
Alice: Yeah, which is, yep
Bex: It’s gonna be foul. Um-
Alice: Yep.
Ellen: Yeah
Bex: It, um, Chim-
Alice: Like, it’ll be in his hair and every- anyway
Bex: Ugh. Chim’s bemoaning the fact that, um, he’s going to smell like rubbish dump as he proposes to Maddie Um-
Ellen: Everyone’s very excited-
Bex: Eddie’s like-
Ellen: … to hear that tonight’s the night
Bex: Yeah, Eddie’s like, “It doesn’t matter how you smell. She’s gonna see the ring and she’s gonna forget all about that.” Chim has at some point retrieved the ring box from his med [01:05:00] kit, and then he opens it up to, like, stare at the ring, I guess, and, and get some motivation from that, only to discover, dun, dun, dun, the ring box is empty.
Alice: Yep.
Ellen: Oh, no.
Alice: What a shock.
Ellen: Where could it be?
Bex: Look, I didn’t know that this was the- where the episode was going the first time I watched it. I was shocked that the ring was gone.
Ellen: Yeah, I was. I, I mean, I had, like … Was it at this point that you asked me, like, uh-
Bex: Scroll down
Ellen: … where, where I thought it was? Like, tell-
Bex: Scroll down in the notes
Ellen: tell me now where you think it is.
Bex: Yeah. Scroll down in the notes.
Ellen: Oh. Hey. Um- There’s my, there’s what I said at the time. Um, “oh, no, the ring’s missing. Who could have seen that coming?” Um.
Bex: Yes. And so at this point I’ve asked Ellen to lock in where she thinks the ring is so that we could see how correct she was.
Ellen: And [01:06:00] I remembered that Jee had been playing with it and that he had the, the ring, at least he had the ring box after Maddie had left. So I’m like, “Maybe Jee has it.” So at this point, picked it like a-
Bex: Yeah, so I-
Ellen: … dirty nose that has-
Bex: So it was-
Ellen: … garbage smell in it.
Bex: … like, it was, the full answer for anyone playing at home was, “In his pocket? It’s probably not in the garbage. Maybe Jee has it. Actually no, he had it after Maddie left, right? He, no, he’s got, had the box. So I’m gonna lock in that maybe Jee has it.” And then I immediately texted, um, Alice in the, the other chat that we have for spoilers and gone, “Damn, Ellen is good.”
Ellen: I’m not, I’m not usually good at working out what’s happening, but in this case it was pretty obvious.
Alice: I still at this point thought that Jee had eaten it, so.
Ellen: Yeah.
Alice: Like, close enough.
Bex: So we go to commercial and when we come back, the 118 have turned the station house upside down [01:07:00] looking for this damn ring. Like, they’ve literally taken every piece of equipment out of every single vehicle and searched every nook and every cranny and every crevice for this ring.
Alice: So this was the episode, like, long-term listeners will remember that Bex and I have been talking about a background firefighter fic forever. Um, we have not written it Life got in the way Yeah But it’s this episode that it’s based on.
Bex: And this part sort of specifically
Alice: Specifically this part Yeah.
Ellen: Oh!
Alice: Because basically the whole station house is pulling itself apart, and I just couldn’t stop watching the background firefighters pulling apart the station house and, like, B shift coming in and being like, “What the fuck are you lot up to now?” And the background A shift would just be like, “Han lost a ring.”
Bex: Yeah.
Alice: And then, yeah, so we- I think it w- Like, it’s basically, like, [01:08:00] B shift being like, “Shit, look busy before Cap makes us look too.” And then Bobby being like-
Bex: Yeah
Alice: … “Hey, Jameson, can you check behind the couches?” And some guy named Jefferson is like, “Sure, Cap.” Can’t remember my name, but remembers Buckley’s dead brother’s name. It’s fine. Um, so we-
Bex: We’ll get around to writing it one day
Alice: We did actually, like, we, we joked about having, like, instead of writing down what was actually happening in this scene, we were gonna be writing down what is happening in the background of this scene so that Ellen got to this part of the notes and was just like, “I don’t remember this.”
Bex: So the notes would just be the fanfic.
Alice: Yeah.
Ellen: Yeah. Well, I was actually just sitting here thinking I don’t remember what the background firefighters were doing in this scene at all, so.
Alice: Pulling apart the entire fire f- firehouse.
Ellen: They were, they were actually helping, were they?
Alice: Yeah.
Ellen: Okay. That’s good.
Alice: Yeah, like the, the engines are being pulled, pulled apart. Like, the, um, the kitchen’s being pulled apart. It’s all happening and [01:09:00] yeah.
Ellen: It’s just what everyone needs to be doing.
Alice: That’s it.
Bex: Could you imagine if they got called-
Alice: And also no emergencies are happening during the-
Bex: … for an emergency?
Alice: Yeah. Thank you.
Bex: Like, they’ve got the literal engine truck, every single med kit, every single tool, every single hose is out on the floor.
Alice: Yeah.
Bex: What the fuck are they supposed to do if there’s an emergency? Just, like, shove everything back in, scoop it all up, and just throw it in the nearest k- um, little compartment and hope for the best?
Alice: Yep. Literally hope for the best.
Bex: They get to the emergency, no one can find anything. Maybe, maybe Bobby’s taken the 118 offline so they can search for the ring.
Alice: Yes, just so they can search for a ring.
Bex: Like it’s that serious.
Alice: And poor Jefferson is just like, “My name’s Jameson.”
Bex: Like B shift have come in and everyone’s just sort of sitting in the round. They’re like, “What have you guys done all day? Like, do w- do we need a handover?” And like, “All we have done is look for a fucking diamond ring.”
Alice: Look for this fucking ring.
Bex: We did [01:10:00] one call and then that was it.
Alice: At a dump.
Bex: Um, anyway, yes. Um, if AO3 ever comes back, uh, perhaps we will write it and post it.
Ellen: Well, you’ve got some time now.
Bex: Yes. Like two weeks.
Ellen: Oh, potentially four weeks.
Alice: Two
Ellen: to four weeks.
Bex: Yep. Mm. Let’s hope it’s more the two weeks-
Ellen: Kinda terrifying
Bex: … than the four weeks.
Ellen: Yeah.
Bex: So yes, uh, the entire house is offline l- looking for this ring. Um, Chim has moved on to spir- past spiraling into paranoia, and he is convinced that someone has stolen the ring.
Ellen: Oh yeah, he’s lost it.
Bex: Um, he thinks it’s Ravi because-
Ellen: And it’s not just someone, it’s one of them. One of them has taken it.
Bex: Oh, yeah. Yep. First it’s Ravi, and then it’s Eddie. Um, th- maybe it’s a prank. Bobby’s like, “They wouldn’t pull pranks without telling me.” And [01:11:00] all three of them are like, “Yeah, we would. We do it all the time. We didn’t in this instance, but we do normally.”
Ellen: Yeah.
Bex: Buck also decides that he’s going to jump on the accusation train, and he doesn’t accuse Hen of taking the ring, but he does accuse her of not looking for the ring.
Ellen: Yeah, and not liking his sister.
Bex: Because if they can’t find the ring, Chim can’t get married.
Ellen: Yeah. He’s like, “You don’t want him to marry Maddie.” And, um, Hen’s like, you know, telling him that, She’s like, “I expressed a concern, one that I was hoping would stay between us.” And then Chimney sees them talking and he’s storming over.
Bex: He storms over. Um, Eddie sort of says-
Alice: He accuses everyone of taking it
Bex: … he thinks that someone took the ring. Buck immediately goes, “It wasn’t me.” Chim like gets in his face and he’s scrutinizing every single micro expression on Buck’s face and then sort of steps back and goes, “Okay, I believe you. You’re a terrible liar.”[01:12:00]
And then turns to Hen. Um, and then gets in sort of like this Godfather-esque kind of speech, uh, where he’s saying that, um, Hen, Hen had the closest, had the most access to the bag that he put the ring in. She was the one. She had access, she had motive, she had opportunity. Mm. It’s always the one that’s closest to you that does it.
Um-
Ellen: Mm …
Bex: and then brings up, “You know, you’ve been trying to talk me out of this this whole time.”
Ellen: Yeah, they have this argument, and then they’re, like, basically shouting at each other, and he’s, and Hen’s like, “Well, maybe, maybe you shouldn’t be getting married.” And then everyone sort of goes, “Oh, no.”
And then Bobby-
Bex: Oh, shit
Ellen: … rather than stan- stepping in and s- and trying to deescalate and saying, “Okay, let’s all be calm about this,” he goes- … “Let’s just take ourselves all out of the equation here and let these two have at it, and we’ll watch from up there.” Yes.
Bex: He’s a messy bitch. [01:13:00]
Ellen: He may as well be standing around going, “Fight, fight, fight, fight.”
Alice: He’s still trying to remember the name of the rest of the, um, A shift.
Ellen: Anyway, they do make themselves scarce so that, um, Hen and Chim can kind of hash it out. Thankfully they’re not actually yelling at each other anymore, but, um, they work it out.
It’s actually c- it, it’s actually very cute. I, I enjoy their bestie-ism and they, they do work it out in a nice way here, rather than completely-
Bex: Yes
Ellen: … falling out over it. And he does actually, she expresses her concerns and he does sort of say, “You know, we’ve, we’ve worked through it and we’re in a better place now, and we’re gonna be okay.”
So these two actually speak to each other.
Alice: Yeah, those- Oh, yeah … two speak for each other. Like, oh my fucking God.
Ellen: They have a great conversation.
Bex: Apparently you can’t talk to people that you’re in romantic relationships with. Like, have you noticed nobody in the couple talks to each other? Like, Bobby and Athena don’t talk to each [01:14:00] other.
Maddie and Chim don’t talk to each other.
Alice: No, they did last week-
Bex: Chim talks to-
Alice: … about Athena killing the guy that was in her custody.
Bex: No, but they don’t-
Ellen: Yeah, they-
Bex: … talk to each other about their relationship stuff-
Ellen: About relationships
Bex: … like Bobby doesn’t tell-
Alice: Yeah. Yeah.
Bex: No.
Ellen: They talk to each other about work stuff all the time.
Bex: Yes. They talk to each other about work stuff, they don’t talk to each other about relationship stuff. Like Athena-
Alice: And yes, we get-
Bex: … will talk to Hen-
Alice: We get that it’s a television show, we get that they need conflict. This is just boring.
Bex: But it’s also-
Alice: I don’t care about the flip-flopping. They-
Bex: … it’s like the same conflict
Alice: … they live, like, they have a kid together, they bought a house together. We’re now at the end of Season 6, and they’re like, “Oh, there needs to be more conflict.” And I’m like, I just don’t care. Why can’t you just let them be cute, and just let them propose c- in a cute way, and let them be cute? No, we have to have-
Bex: It doesn’t need to be cute
Alice: … a whole fucking episode dragged out.
Ellen: For the drama.
Alice: For the drama. And I’m like, I just, it’s stupid. They’ve been together since, like, Season 2. I don’t need Chim to be like, “Oh my [01:15:00] God, should we get married?” I don’t know, talk to your fucking, the person you live with who’s basically already your wife.
At some point she didn’t have a house, they only showed your apartment, so where was she living that whole time?
Bex: See, none of this would be an issue in Australia, ’cause technically they’re in a de facto relationship. They’re as good as married
Alice: Yeah, technically they’re already married, so it doesn’t matter.
Bex: They would be doing their taxes as if they were married.
Alice: Like I have several friends who have gotten a divorce without ever having a wedding because they’ve been in a relationship so long.
Bex: Were they together more than two years?
Alice: Well over two, yeah So they immediately get…
Bex: Yeah, so they get treated as though it’s like de facto marriage is-
Alice: Exactly. So, but yeah, like the, the lawyers still say like, “Divorce settlement.” And they’re like, “But we were never married,” and it’s like, “Doesn’t matter. Still a divorce.”
Bex: Yeah, but it’s, it’s still a divorce. Yeah.
Alice: Yep.
Bex: So yes, Maddie and Chim come to Australia, your relationship would be f- it’s fine over here.
Alice: Literally. And I think that’s why it’s just so ha- like so confusing for me when American TV shows and Americans especially, like even on like when I [01:16:00] watch Teen Mom, like they’re like, they’ve had a baby together and then they’re like, “Oh, I just don’t know if I wanna get married.” And it’s like, but you’ve, like you’ve stuck with them for at least 18 years anyway.
The… Like what? ‘Cause here, like you just have to be with them two years and get, and live together, and they’re just like, “Yep, cool, you’re married. Half your shit is theirs. Good luck.”
Bex: Yeah, but maybe, maybe it’s because they don’t have that in the US.
Alice: Yeah, that’s what I mean.
Bex: Like you’re either boyfriend and girlfriend-
Alice: Like Americans are just like just think that marriage is such a big thing and it’s like but you already have a baby.
Bex: Yes. Marriage is such a big thing, and it’s also, like it’s a very sort of religious thing.
Alice: Yeah.
Bex: Like you have to-
Alice: Whereas here it’s just like a default thing if you, if you s-
Bex: Yeah
Alice: … like sleep in the same house for too long, it’s just like, “Oh fuck. We were housemates but now we’re apparently in a de facto relationship-
Ellen: We’re stuck together.
Bex: We were roommates and then-
Alice: … and you own half my shit.” Literally.
Bex: Yeah. So Chim and Hen talk to each other and they resolve their issues. Um- [01:17:00]
Alice: Using the power of words
Bex: … Chim does throw, um, Eva in Hen’s face, ’cause Hen’s like, “I don’t know that I can ever trust Maddie.” And Chim’s like, “Well, did Karen ever learn to trust you again after you cheated on her?” And Hen’s like, “Ouch. But okay.”
Alice: And then specifically, like, name drops Eva and everything and it’s like it’s a… Like do we need to mention a name? How many times has Hen cheated?
Bex: How many times has she cheated? Um, and Hen’s like, “Okay, touché. Good point. Yes, it took her a while but she did ev- eventually learn to trust me so eventually yes, okay, fine.
They forgive each other, and then Hen’s like, “In as a way to show my penance, uh, to make it up to you, I will help you look for the ring.” Chim’s like, “But we’ve looked everywhere.” Hen’s like, “Not everywhere.” Because somehow apparently the ring relocated, transported, like kinetically lifted itself [01:18:00] out of the ring box, out of the med kit that Chim had it in, possibly even out of the ambulance, and yeeted itself into the Valley Vista landfill.
Ellen: It’s in the rubbish.
Alice: Yeah. Because that’s where they’re looking.
Bex: In Hen’s mind. Yes. So that’s why-
Ellen: I mean, it’s the last place they were today that they haven’t looked. But-
Bex: But … does Hen really think the ring came out of the ring box, out of the bag, out of the ambulance into… And even if it was, that there were-
Alice: Maybe she thinks it was somehow in Chim’s pocket.
Bex: I don’t know.
Alice: I don’t understand the logic here at all.
Ellen: And even, even, even if it had been possible, also they’re gonna try- they’re gonna find like a tiny ring in like a big pile of trash? Like it-
Bex: Yep. I will give them props. They’re gonna try. They’re at least looking in the same area that they pulled Bruce out of, ’cause they’re sort of around the piano searching. But yeah, they’re not gonna fucking find it.
Alice: They don’t even find-
Ellen: No
Alice: … the computer tower. Like…
Ellen: [01:19:00] Well, they don’t know that a computer tower has $4 million on it.
Alice: No.
Bex: No. So they’re looking, they don’t find it. Um, Chim gives up. He admit- he just accepts that it’s lost. Um, Hen’s like, “I’m really sorry.” From behind them, Athena says, “You are both about to be very sorry.”
And they both whirl around to find Athena standing behind them. Chim starts to say her name.
Alice: This part i- this part is funny. Once again, yeah, it’s the best part of the episode.
Bex: Chim’s like, “Uh, Athena.” She’s like, “Stop talking, sir, who I’ve never met before and I don’t know who you are.”
Alice: Yeah, and Chim’s like, “Yes, officer.” And Hen’s like, “Sergeant.” Sergeant. And she’s like, “Sergeant. Ahem. Yep.”
Bex: Both try to make out that none of them know each other Which then leads on to Athena arresting them and putting them in the back of her car from the beginning of the episode. So we’ve caught up to ourselves. [01:20:00]
Alice: Yeah.
Ellen: But is she, has she really arrested them or is she just pretending to arrest them for-
Alice: No, she’s just throwing them in the c- cop car.
Bex: She’s pretending to arrest them. So Athena scolds them for, um, breaking and entering, um, putting themselves in danger.
Ellen: But why, and why did they go there in the night? Like how are they gonna find a ring in the dark? Anyway, the whole thing is stupid.
Alice: The whole thing is stupid.
Ellen: The whole thing is stupid.
Bex: Um, so she takes them to Hen’s house, um, where they both have very hot, very soapy showers to get the smell of the, the tip off them.
Alice: Separately. Separately.
Bex: Sep- separately, yes. Although, like Hen wouldn’t fucking care. She’s not into Chim like that. Um, Chim is also avoiding going home ’cause he d- can’t face Maddie.
Alice: Even though Maddie has no fucking idea what’s going on.
Bex: Nope. Um, he’s down in the [01:21:00] dumps. He, he’s not even thinking about the thousands of dollars that he’s lost at this point. Um, he’s more, he’s listening to the universe scream at him, and he’s misinterpreting what the universe is saying.
Ellen: Yeah. Oh, more screaming. Yeah. Oh, and after, and he’s like, “How…” Hen goes, “How are you feeling?” And he says, “Like a loser and a failure. Oh, and an idiot.” It’s like, “Yes, you are all of those things today, Chim.”
Alice: Yep. Pretty much.
Bex: Um, so while he’s moping into his cup of tea that Chim has, uh, Hen has made him, um, feeling like a loser and a failure, um, we cut back or we go to the murder house where Maddie is solo parenting, probably wondering where the fuck Chim is, since he should’ve been home hours ago. And she is making up Jee a bottle.
So she puts Jee in the living room with all of her toys, goes into the kitchen to make her bottle. Um, Jee’s like, “Oh, I have a bottle from like early in the day. Let [01:22:00] me go get that. Maybe there’s milk in it already.” So she grabs the bottle out of the stroller, which is parked in the living room, and wouldn’t you know it, there’s something shiny and sparkly in the stroller.
Ellen: Yes.
Bex: And she grabs the bottle and g- and then goes, “Ooh, shiny,” and pulls out the ring. And we get a flashback to remind us that when Maddie came into the office and surprised Bobby and Chim, um, Chim put the p- the ring box in his pocket, but Jee had still holding onto the ring.
Alice: Yep.
Bex: And so when Maddie grabbed her and put her back in the stroller to take her because the emergency had, the, uh, sirens had gone off for an emergency call, Jee was actually physically wearing the ring at that point
Ellen: Oh, it’s kind of cute Yeah.
Bex: So did-
Ellen: In like a why the hell does this baby have the ring kind of way.
Alice: And that’s a very big choking hazard kind of way.
Bex: Yes.
Ellen: Yeah.
Bex: And so she-
Ellen: And she puts-
Bex: She, um-
Ellen: She goes [01:23:00] and puts the, the, the ring to bed in her dollhouse.
Alice: She … That, that’s, that’s, that is cute.
Bex: Yes.
Alice: She like- That’s cute … tucks it into the bed in the dollhouse.
Bex: Yes. That’s c- that like, there’s tiny little cute moments like this, um, in an otherwise snore-fest of an episode.
Ellen: Yeah.
Alice: Yeah.
Bex: And that’s where the episode ends, with like, um, Maddie and Jee are playing in the living room, and the camera lingers on the diamond ring tucked into the bed in the dollhouse.
Ellen: I had, I had thought at the time that maybe that she was just gonna hand it over to Maddie. But no, it’s just in the dollhouse now, so I’m interested to see how it’s gonna get out of there. Hopefully she’ll hand it to Chim at some point rather than Maddie. But maybe there’ll be extra drama-
Alice: We’ll have to find out
Ellen: … when she hands it over
Alice: Um, yeah, so this episode [01:24:00] really frustrates me because Maddie and Chim are two of my favorite characters, so you would think an episode based on Maddie and Chim’s relationship would be, like, something cool. But somehow they just managed to make it real shit.
Ellen: Yeah, it’s just the nothing interesting happens that’s-
Alice: When I cared more about the background firefighters pulling the station house apart, I was like, “How did they fuck this up?”
Bex: That’s when you know you’ve lost Alice.
Alice: Yeah. And, like, look, maybe I’m alone, but I just… It was just a nothing burger of a episode.
Bex: It was, it was- Mm … very much they’ve gone, “We have X number of episodes to get to the end of the season. This is the storyline that we wanna pursue. We just need to s- we’re not going to be able to get… Like, what c- what can we do? Like, can we get them engaged? Can we get them married?
How far down the storyline can we go? We can’t get them married. Okay, cool. Let’s at least try and get them engaged, but we’re gonna have to stretch this [01:25:00] storyline out over four episodes.”
Alice: But, like, they-
Bex: ‘Cause we don’t- I guess, like- We can’t do anything else with them, so let’s get them to that point at least.
Alice: Like, did they not have the budget for even a small wedding? Like, they could have ended on, ended the season on, like… I w- I just, I don’t get it.
Bex: I, like, maybe it was the amount of time, the amount of storylines, they just did not have the capacity to write a wedding, that they thought. I don’t know. When you, when they’re down to the we have to wrap everything up, we can’t wrap everything up in that time.
I don’t. I don’t know. Mm. I would love to, like, grab the, the showrunners and the writers from this season and go, “Okay. What exactly was going on at this point?” Yeah. Like, at what point did you know that Fox wasn’t renewing you? What, how many episodes had you written? How many episodes had you left to go?
What were the talks going on with the showrunner? What did you guys decide to do? Like, what did you have to give up?
Alice: Yeah. [01:26:00]
Ellen: Yeah, it’d be interesting to find out about that, ’cause-
Bex: It really would …
Ellen: it, it just feels like- I- … they could have done a lot before they finished, but they kind of haven’t yet.
Bex: I wish con- I wish the convention circuit did writers as well.
Yeah. Writers and directors. We need- We need 9-1-1 cast members to do like a Robin Rich.
Yes, right?
And start a podcast. Mm-hmm. And bring writers- And interview the- And bring showrunners in- Yeah … and interview them-
Alice: Yeah …
Bex: for episodes. Yeah. So drag Kristen into her closet. Mm-hmm. Stick a microphone in her face, put her on a Zoom call, and ask her to explain what the hell was going on at this stage. Please.
Alice: Yeah, ’cause I just-
Ellen: Yeah …
Alice: I don’t get it.
Ellen: All right. Well, uh, tell me what is coming next.
Bex: Um, sure. [01:27:00] Athena and the 118 Like, okay, full sort of full confession here. Um, I don’t know whether it’s the bitter divorcee or other … I mean, even before I got married I was very much anti-marriage. I don’t like weddings. I don’t like proposals. I am not the kind of person that likes fix-
Alice: Maybe that was a sign, bex. Um-
Bex: And no, like li- literally the only reason I got married was because I couldn’t think of a good enough reason not to. Like, he really wanted to and I’m like, “Eh, okay, fine. If that’s what you want.” Like, I don’t have an argument against it.
I don’t have any great arguments for it, but I don’t have any arguments against it, and this seems really important to you, so we’ll do it. Um-
Alice: Mm. Yep.
Bex: So I don’t like weddings-
Alice: That kind of seems like an argument against, but sure. Let’s, yep.
Bex: Um, I don’t like weddings. I don’t like proposals. I don’t like stories that like when you have a romance and then that last epilogue is just like a wedding. I hate those. Um-
Ellen: Oh, yeah. I usually fast-forward through those too.
Bex: [01:28:00] So like these-
Ellen: Not because I don’t like weddings, just because I don’t like reading about weddings. I think they’re, I feel like they’re really often really boring.
Bex: So the next-
Ellen: Sorry to everyone who writes-
Bex: The next episode, um, is like my personal hell. Um- Because it’s called “Love Is In The Air”, and the entire theme is proposals and weddings.
Ellen: Oh, okay.
Bex: Because Athena and the 118 race to the rescue when a wedding proposal tragically intersects with a bank robbery, and when a princess bride- Oh … is literally stuck on her way to the altar. Um, Athena takes-
Ellen: Princess bride?
Bex: Talks a victim through her grief and Maddie takes matters into her own hands. I think there needs to be a comma there because the whole Buck finds a surprise visitor on his doorstep doesn’t actually have anything to do with Maddie. Like Maddie takes matters into her own hands, and Buck finds a surprise visitor on his doorstep.
Ellen: Nice.
Bex: Um, I don’t have triggers. I don’t know why I don’t have triggers. Um, let me very quickly- [01:29:00] Proposals … find triggers. Proposals, weddings. Um-
Alice: Love, bleh.
Bex: Love, bleh. It s- it sounds terrible when you put it like that, but yeah.
Alice: We’re very cynical. We’re sorry. We’re not sorry. It’s just awful.
Bex: But like seriously-
Ellen: Maybe I will enjoy this
Bex: weddings and proposals are on my ick list. Like, when you’re doing sort of fics, like, and you’re trying to find tags that you’re trying to exclude, I’m excluding that.
Alice: You know what’s funny? Um- I, um, I don’t really have an issue with weddings as such. Like, if it, it’s, if it’s the end I’m like, “Yeah, okay, whatever.”
I don’t, I can’t do fics, like, once they’ve got their happy ever after. Like, I just want them to hook up, and then, like, I don’t care about what happens after.
Ellen: Oh.
Alice: So like, “To Build a Home”, for example, like they have their happy … Like, they get together and then they, like, keep having, like, like a life after that, and I’m like, I, I [01:30:00] don’t care. Like, I don’t want it. I don’t care about the d- the domestic sort of stuff.
Ellen: Oh.
Alice: It just bores me.
Ellen: If the- Okay, um- If the whole story is about their life together and being domestic, then that’s fine. But if they have, like, some big adventure and then they get married and that’s the end, then I don’t wanna hear about what happens after that.
Alice: Yeah, pretty much. Like, it’s like, okay-
Ellen: It’s, it’s in context, it’s okay … we’re done now, I don’t care.
Bex: Yeah. Like, this is so bad, but, um, even The Long Game, I skimmed, like, that whole section with the, like-
Alice: Yes, you get it!
Bex: … the diamonds and-
Alice: You get my…
Bex: Yes. Yes. The-
Ellen: Oh, I loved that.
Bex: No, I-
Ellen: I don’t know what was different about that but-
Bex: I do, I do not want to see that on the screen. I’m just gonna be fast-forwarding through that section.
Ellen: Hmm. Okay.
Bex: Traumas for next week. Um, weddings, proposals, um, base jumping, [01:31:00] bank robbery-
Alice: Sure.
Ellen: Hmm …
Bex: um, cancer. Our favorite ta- uh, trauma tag of just cops. Um, discussions of assisted suicide, grief, patient death, road rash, I think that goes with the base jumper. Um, threat of gun violence, I think that goes with the bank robbery.
Ellen: Right.
Alice: Sure.
Bex: Yes.
Ellen: Well, it sounds interesting so far.
Alice: I honestly don’t even re- Um- Is next week’s the second last episode?
Bex: Yes. Second last episode.
Alice: Yeah, I don’t … I barely remember the last two.
Bex: Um, I remember the first emergency, um, only because I kind of really like the way it ends, and you’ll that sort of is very much a me thing, um, after all I’ve said about marriages and proposals and weddings, and you’ll understand when you’ve seen it. Um, the rest of the episode, maybe I’ve blocked it from my memory ’cause I didn’t remember a lot of it when I was going through the notes. [01:32:00]
Ellen: Mm-hmm. Uh, well, with only two episodes to go, we have to remind everybody to send us their thoughts on this whole season, ’cause we’re nearly at the end.
Alice: Yeah. Please convince us- Yes … that this is a season that’s worth watching. Um …
Bex: It’s not.
Ellen: I mean, I enjoyed, like, watching the episodes, but I mean, overall, but, like, the actual storyline hasn’t been particularly interesting most of the way through But at this point it’s more like I’m, I’m a- I’m attached to the characters now, so I have to watch it to find out what’s happening rather than any general interest in-
Alice: Oh yeah, we’re stuck here now
Ellen: … what’s happening. Yeah. Yeah. It’s kind of like season seven Supernatural. It’s like, “Okay, I guess I’ll keep watching.”
Bex: So yeah, send us your thoughts on season six. Tell us if there were any episodes that you actually liked. Um, any, which, yes, there were a couple of good ones.
Um, which [01:33:00] episode you would rather gouge your eyes out than have to re-watch.
Ellen: Dramatic.
Bex: Um, give us some suggestions for season six edition of Fuck, Marry, Kill, because we’ll probably play that again. Um, and please send through your fic recommendations for-
Ellen: Oh, yeah
Bex: … um, season six, up to season six, um, fics.
Alice: If ao3 ever comes back.
Bex: If ao3, um, if you’ve- Oh, don’t … got it in your downloads, send us through the download. Um, re- you can send through anything, but I will be screening them all and sort of all the season seven spoiler fics will be saved for another episode. So I just want anything up to season six, please and thank you.
Ellen: Yeah, I know we said we were gonna do one last season, but, um, we are actually, or I am quite keen to do one for this season because I know that there’s gonna be heaps from this-
Alice: From the lightning strike at least,
Ellen: yeah from the last few-
Bex: There is. And then- … seasons coming … after, when season seven kicks in, the fics change quite [01:34:00] significantly, so-
Ellen: Hmm …
Bex: let’s get all of the good season six-
Ellen: I wonder what, um, where that could be.
Bex: Let’s get all the season fix, six fics done, and then we can get those out of the way and then focus on season seven fics when we get through that season.
Ellen: All right. Yeah, let us know what you thought. Leave us a comment in the usual places, on Spotify, on YouTube, on thatweewooshow.com or on social media. Uh, thank you for listening this week, and we will be back next week to talk about episode 17, which is called “Love Is In The Air”. See you then.
Bex: Bye.
Alice: Bye.
Ellen: 9-1-1 is a fictional show, but many of the situations portrayed happen in the real world too. If any of the topics we’ve discussed in this episode have affected you, please know you’re not alone. You can call or text numbers in your country for help. Just Google crisis support and your location to find out the number.
If you enjoy our [01:35:00] podcast, you can help us out by leaving us a review on Spotify or your preferred listening app, and by sharing our social media posts. Find out more at thatweewooshow.com.
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